Happy and Sad

Today is April 21st.

 It is a beautiful Sunday morning in Florence.

 The sun is shining, the pigeons aren't in my way, and it is early enough for the sidewalks not to be consumed with tourist groups.

I look up at the sky and hear the church bells ring. 10:00 AM. 

I smile as I walk through the side streets, there is not a care in the world. 

I love this city, and I consider it a home of mine. 

Not just for the history, the beauty, and the food, but for the people I have spent my time with. For the person I have become while living here. For the person I am excited to be when I get home. 

There has been a lot of talk lately about leaving this place and returning back to a "normal" life. This is a hard topic to discuss, and I find myself very indecisive in regards to how I feel about it.

On one side, I am overwhelmed by sadness. This experience has been so enriching to me, and I feel like there is still so much for me to see, so much growing I still need to do, and I need more time for it. I have quite literally had the time of my life here. 

The girls I have met and spent most of my time with here have changed my life. I mention them in stories, adventures, and different pickles I get into when traveling, but I never really talk about how much I really have enjoyed getting to know each and every one of them. We have gotten very close, I have especially with a few of them in the past two weeks. They have taught me things about myself, both good and bad. They have changed me in ways that many people may not notice, but I feel within myself. I feel the need to continue these relationships, I am not ready to leave all of them yet.

Whenever we are together, it is just an overabundance of laughter. I have laughed everyday of being here and that is not an exaggeration. I have learned something new everyday of being here as well. About myself, about someone else, about the world. 

Not one day has been wasted. Not one day I regret. 

I don't want to spend the rest of my time here moping around and thinking about how sad it is that it is almost over. I think the fact that there is a limit on our time here makes everything so much better. We are actively trying to check things off our bucket list before we leave and we are trying to get the most out of the rest of the time we have together. If there was not an expiration date then there would be no urgency to get close and live life to the fullest.

For that I am thankful. 

As suddenly as a sad wave leave my mind, a happy one crashes in. The happiness I feel when I think about going home comes quick and strong. I am so thankful for everything I have done and learned while here.I want to share it with everyone at home. I want to tell them stories and share my experience. I miss my family, friends, and life. I miss making money. I miss Dale hopping into my lap when I lay on the couch. I miss hopping in a car and going to Coney Island for a hani. That sounds pathetic, I mean- hello I am in Florence, but it's true. 

Going home is not the end, it is just a new chapter in my life. I know that I will remain a close relationship with these girls. We are already planning on traveling to see each other this summer. I am not trying to end my trip earlier than it already does, but these are things we have needed to talk about so we don't freak out the day we leave. The next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind of great times, just like the rest of the trip has been. 

Soaking it all in is a full time job, but I am up for the challenge.

 I never want to forget the feeling I had this morning when walking around here. 

It happens somewhat often, it feels like I am getting punched in the chest by an overwhelming will to live. it makes me think, so this is complete happiness, this is what I want to feel every minute of my life. It is great.