Where's The Rest of It?

I had to go bathing suit shopping today due to some trips that are coming up. I will not mention where I am going in the attempt of keeping some sort of element of surprise.

This adventure was to say the least, a challenge. 

Before I go any further, men who are reading- you will not understand this post, women on the other hand will feel my pain.

So finding a decent bathing suit, for anyway, is a challenge in America, let alone a different country. Let me just say, Italy is a whole other form of difficulty. 

The tops are possible to find, yet difficult because they do not go above the size "tiny." I am convinced the different size labels are a scam because the suit itself never got any bigger.

The bottoms, or what I think were bottoms, made me laugh. Literally, Alex and I were in awe.

I am not sure if any of you are familiar with the term "long butt" so let me explain. 

It is when you where pants or bottoms (with the exception of some high-waisted shorts or dress pants) of some sort that give the illusion that the lower part of your back is part of your butt. It makes your butt look, vertical, if you will. I hate long butt.

ALL THE BOTTOMS ARE LONG BUTT BOTTOMS. 

If that is not bad enough, lets throw in a Brazilian cut- what. Again, I will explain.

The sides basically look cut out like this:

 )  ( 

I mean this is clearly an exaggeration but I think you get the idea.

this does not work for me. 

More power to the people who can rock this, however, I, nor the majority of the people I know, can actually wear the majority of things cut like that. 

Now the combination of long butt and Brazilian style just looked so challenging and absurd that I found it quite humorous. Please, just try and picture it. I did not even attempt to try them on, because I knew how that was going to turn out.

I really wonder if it is just Italy that has their bathing suits like this, because everyone here is built the same. They all have skinny legs and zero butt. The guys, the girls, it doesn't matter. It is the oddest thing- I do not get it and I am not even going to try.

So in conclusion, I will buy a top that somewhat fits and wear some sort of cloth shorts thing. Not really my ideal look in Europe, however, I refuse to pay for the long butt look, so this is about as good as it is going to get.

Ciao!